Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
