Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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