I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
