he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
