I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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