I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
