Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
