Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
