Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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