So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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