I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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