If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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