You made me cry and you don't even care
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
