I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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