Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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