Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
