nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
