Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm really busy with my period
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