Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
