Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
