bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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