hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
