Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
