we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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