i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
