So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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