Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
