shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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