my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize