Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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