If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
