is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
