Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
