What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize