Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
