We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
