Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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