No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
