Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
