I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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