I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
