Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
