PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
