i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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