It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
