Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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