The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
