Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
