Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
