I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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