Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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