I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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