Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
