so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
