My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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