omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
