i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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