didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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