Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
