its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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