My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
