I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
