Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
