distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
