The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
