So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
