I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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